Emotions
Using emotions to guide us
“But what we know now is that when we deny our emotion, it owns us. When we own our emotion, we can rebuild and find our way through the pain.”
Brene Brown
Emotions are a bit like dirty laundry, we don’t want other people to see them, and we don’t particularly like being around them.
So, what do we do? We stuff them away into our emotional cupboard, hiding them from being seen or experienced.
Over time our emotional cupboard fills up; emotions stuffed into all of its corners, until one more thing comes along, that is too much for our cupboard to hold … and the doors burst open. Our emotions come tumbling out in the form of an emotional outburst, be it frustration, anger or tears. And we inevitability have feelings about those feelings which we promptly stuff back into our cupboard, adding another layer of suppressed emotions.
The thing is, our body is our emotional cupboard and trying to hold it all together is exhausting.
We’re taught at a young age to “stop being so emotional”, “don’t be sad/angry/upset “or told to ‘stop being so sensitive” and “stop overreacting “, so it’s no wonder we steer away from feeling our emotions.
We’ve never been taught how to feel our feelings. There will have been many times our feelings have been dismissed or belittled by parents, siblings, peers or teachers. Is it any surprise that we escape into our heads to avoid feeling the emotional sensations in our bodies?
And yet emotions tell us so much. They tell us whether we like something or not, they can protect us with the visceral ping when our boundaries have been overstepped. Emotions are a fundamental aspect of our social interactions, allowing us to connect, empathise, and communicate with others on an authentic level.
The truth is that emotions play a crucial role in our lives and are essential for our holistic well-being, and they are are also the gateway to our inner world and healing.
Emotions are the gateway to our inner world and healing
Yes you read that right … the very thing we strive to push away is the very thing that can release us from our emotional pain. Learning to lean into our emotions are a way to finding more ease, space and emotional freedom from our fit-to-bursting emotional cupboard.
Emotions serve as internal signals that provide insight into our inner world and external environment. They offer a window into our needs, desires, and perceptions. By connecting and feeling into our emotions, we gain valuable self-awareness, paving the way for personal growth and healing.
Our triggers are emotional echoes from the past. When triggered, that current event acts as a reminder of an emotional hurt or fright when we were young, and in the absence of another regulated nervous system & empathetic witness**we felt alone in our feelings.
We learnt that it was not safe to feel that experience and so created a survival response to keep us away from this perceived threat. Anything that reminds us of that experience will trigger a reaction that can manifest as intense emotions, physiological reactions, or behavioural patterns.
These emotional triggers have a significant impact on our mental and emotional well-being, influencing our relationships and overall quality of life.
One powerful approach to addressing emotional triggers is learning how to effectively navigate through uncomfortable feelings. This involves acknowledging, accepting, and processing challenging emotions, rather than suppressing or avoiding them.
Learning to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. By embracing discomfort, we can create space for healing and self-discovery. When we use the felt sense instead of trying to make sense of an experience we can process and metabolise the emotion, never having to replay the original event.
This process empowers us to identify the root causes of emotional triggers, allowing us to address and resolve underlying issues and releasing what no longer serves us.
“A memory without the emotional charge is called wisdom.”
Joe Dispenza
Emotions are an integral aspect of the human experience and hold profound significance in shaping our inner world and external interactions.
By learning how to engage with our uncomfortable feelings, we embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and healing.
When we change our view of emotions as being something we need to push away, to the view that emotions are our inner guide, moving us towards what is there, ready and waiting to be healed, we pave the way for a more balanced and fulfilling life, grounded in self-awareness and emotional well-being.
